I’ve been thinking recently about a lot of things. So here is a bit of a Friday brain dump…
There seems to still be a lot of pressure on us to achieve things and have things by a certain age. And if you haven’t done or don’t have them then there must be something wrong with you. This grinds my gears. It annoys me. I tend to let things like this go over my head as it’s wasted energy and why waste energy on things that aren’t necessary? I don’t know.
But alas, here I am, hoping this brain dump may be of use to someone.
Recently, I’ve had quite a few conversations with people about this unnecessary pressure that’s thrust upon us to have a mortgage as soon as we’ve graduated. To have a well paid job straight out of Uni. To get married. To have a decent car. To be climbing up the career ladder. To have a career. To go to Uni in the first place etc, etc, etc. UGH. For some reason, all of this has to be achieved by a certain age.
For me, who gives a s***?!
I’m talking about people (mainly elders…) pouring pressure over people that just causes stress and a sense of “failing at life“. What hurts me is that this pressure undoubtedly causes poor mental health. And that’s not cool. At all.
We do it to ourselves too. I’ve had it where I’ve heard that Susie from school has a mortgage and a baby and think to myself “Oh, am I supposed to have that then?” (No, Els. You’re better suited to be rolling around the floor pretending to be an Orangutan). I sometimes forget that I’m in the Arts and therefore don’t have a normal career. Fortunately, I’m incredibly lucky to have parents that have always encouraged me to do what I want. As long as I’m happy and working towards what I want to do then they’re happy. I had two gap years after sixth form and never felt the pressure from my parents. They knew that I was chasing my dream. Whereas some of the Mum’s of my fellow classmates were making me feel crap cause I was serving them peplum tops at New Look, saving money for drama school as oppose to studying Business at Nottingham like their precious child. I don’t care what you’re child is doing post sixth form, as long as they’re happy. So why make me feel like I’m not doing life “right”? You do you.
I know that those who don’t quite know what they want to do in life have the same kind of pressure. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Some people don’t know what they want to do as a career until they’re in their 50s or even later. What’s wrong with that? Nothing! You do you.
Of course, I believe in a good work ethic & setting goals & being on the ball but not to the extent that I make myself feel like I’m not good enough. I’m a grafter and always have been. I work my tushi off for everything – so why even dabble in this horrible self-pressure?
I do think that being an actor is a blessing and a curse for this sort of thing. On one hand, you grow a thick skin. But on the other hand, you feel like you’re constantly having to explain yourself to people.
Sure, Alex & I could quit acting, get a 9-5 and buy a house right away. But would we be happy?! No. That’s why we’re creating our own business. To support ourselves in between things.
Happiness is SO important and what’s more important is your mental health. Don’t pour on the pressure. Work hard and work towards happiness. Not what you feel you should do just cause that’s the “norm” or “everyone else is doing it”.
Jacket from Primark, Blouse from New Look, Dungarees from Topshop
THIS video by the super cute Melanie Murphy really hits the nail on the head.
Also, if you are struggling with anxiety or are stressed out then THIS series (The Reset Series) by blogger Lindsey Holland is well worth checking out.
You do you. As long as you’re not hurting anyone then crack on.