Mother’s Day is today and I’m 25 this year so obviously I’ve been reflecting on life as my quarter life crisis begins to emerge from my soul…
I’ve been thinking about what I’ve learnt so far in life, in particular, what I’ve learnt from the woman who raised me. My Momma…
Be Friends With Everyone
When I was at school, I always remember my mum telling me that she was always a floater; that she was always friends with everyone and kind to everyone. I liked the idea of having lots of friends and my hun Snow White preached kindness so I thought I’d adopt the same ethos. Don’t always stick to one group. Hang out with everyone. We’re all equal.
Laugh It Off
This is the best lesson I learnt from my Momma. When you go through sh*t and you laugh it off, it hurts less. Whether that’s being in Year 7 and falling over (along with your huge rucksack and flute) in front of the fit Year 11 guys or whether that’s trying to pick your anorexic sister up cause she’s fallen over but it’s pretty hard cause you’ve got a broken back… Always see the funny side. The things we joke about may be pretty harrowing to some but that’s because it’s the only thing that got us through. Finding humour in mental illnesses and having no food in the fridge at all may make people feel a bit uncomfortable but we truly believe that laughter is the best medicine. That and Citalopram.
Go With Your Gut
This is a lesson I actually need to remind myself of…. I used to trust my gut instinct all the time but the past few years I think I’ve blindly followed advice when I should just do what I want to do… Which is pretty hypocritical of me seeing as I always say “You do you!“. Going with your gut can be scary but it can really pay off.
Count Your Blessings
There is always something to be grateful for. Even when you feel things can’t get any worse, you will come out the other side and in the mean time, count your blessings. When we thought we had nothing, my family & I had each other which was always more than enough. We’re all a lot luckier than we realise, aren’t we?!
Take The P*ss Out Of Yourself
My mum told my sisters & I that she used to be really sensitive when she was young and that any mockery would get to her. So from as soon as I can recall, she’d purposefully mock us… Some of you might be like “omg that’s sooo harsh wtf no” but it’s a brilliant idea! She did not want us to be soft. She wanted us to grow into tough women. She’d laugh at my chubby cheeks and tease me about my absolutely hench AF legs and funnily enough, they’re two of my fave things about myself. You could say pretty much anything to me and it wouldn’t hurt me. Tell me I’m really ugly, tell me I’m a shit actor, tell me my bob looks like a mushroom… It won’t hurt me, I know it’s not true. Well, maybe the mushroom bit…
Love Your Body
There’s only one you (unless you’ve been cloned) and you MUST love yourself. Love ALL OF YOU. My confidence came from being taught how to love myself. Eat well, sleep well, exercise well and ALWAYS MOISTURISE YOUR NECK AND CHEST AS WELL AS YOUR FACE!
My mum has never put pressure on us, as long as we are working hard. When she’s proud of us, she’s obviously proud of what we have achieved but more importantly, she’s proud of us for working hard to get there. At school, she never pressured us into taking particular subjects, never forced us to go to Uni or anything like that. To be fair, she raised three feisty daughters so knew that would only backfire in the end, hehe. For her, as long as we are happy and are working hard, she’s happy.
Who Cares What People Think?!
“Oh who cares” has got to be one of our family mantras. I don’t know if my mum has ever cared what people think and if she has, she’s certainly never told us. THIS is vital for true happiness. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, who really gives a toss?! My mum is the kind of person people gravitate towards. You can’t help but love her! Despite this, she just doesn’t care what Jo from next door thinks of her. The whole Keeping Up With The Jones’ idea makes her cringe. I love that about her. There’s so much to worry about in life without caring what people think about your car, or your make up or how much money you earn. When you care too much about what others think then aren’t you living your life for them, as oppose to living it for yourself? And if you think about it, whilst you’re worrying what people think, they’re probably also worrying themselves, so to be fair – isn’t it all a waste of time?! As long as I don’t hurt anyone or be mean to anyone, I don’t care what people think.
Treat People How You Want To Be Treated
This is good because it keeps our moral compass in check. It’s a lesson we’re all taught, especially if you went to a Church of England primary school. Hearing this at home from my family and at school from my teachers – it was hard not to take note. It also makes perfect sense, why would you treat someone in any way other than how you would like to be treated yourself?!
Shake What Ya Mamma Gave Ya
Growing up, all we did was dance. We’d put on the radio and shake our lil (well, not so little…) tushi’s all night long. It made me proud of who I am, it made me love myself and all the women around me. The more you had to jiggle, the more fun you had.
My mum taught me to take my career seriously but not myself. To love everyone around me as if my own family. To be kind but to take no sh*t. To be friends with everyone but to not care what people think. To laugh, to cry to appreciate each part of life. None of us our perfect, no one is… We all make mistakes from time to time but we all try to be the best we can be. Hawthdashians 4 lyfe.
Thank you for reading