I’ve talked a lot about contraception recently, to friends, in a self tape (strange, I know) and it’s made me wonder why I have never written about it on here before…
I first went on the pill when I was about 16. Simply and scarily because it was, or maybe still is, the norm to go on the pill when you become sexually active.
I had the conversation with my mum, as it was the norm and I went to the doctors and started on Microgynon. I took it each day for three weeks and then had a week off to have a period. If I went on holiday or something then I just took it for an extra week. I never missed a pill. I set an alarm each day to remind me and that was that. It was the normal thing to do.
Then I started gaining weight… You wouldn’t really notice cause I was slim anyway but it was a lot in a short space of time. I then started having mood swings and if you know me, you’ll know I’m not moody. I then started having awful self-esteem and feeling awful about myself. I obviously hid how I was feeling cause I thought I was just being “silly” or “pathetic” or a “typical woman lol”. Looking back, I reckon it was all to do with being on the pill.
Come to think of it, I literally only went on the pill cause I had sex and got a boyfriend. I’m not blaming him, cause it was THE NORM. I was never asked if I wanted to go on the pill. I was never asked if I wanted to stay on it even though I didn’t really like it. I just thought I had to do that cause I was the one with the vagina.
My time with the pill wasn’t horrific by any means but I didn’t like it. I didn’t feel in control of my body, I didn’t feel empowered, I didn’t feel safe and I didn’t feel healthy… SO why did I do it to myself?
After some thought, I came off it and haven’t been on it since. That was about 5 years ago, when I met Alex.
I’m still met with a bit of shock when I tell people I’m not on the pill or anything… “WHAT? but you’re In A rElAtIoNsHiPpp”… Yes I am. With someone who respects and supports my decisions and has never ever once asked me to “try it again” or “go on the implant or something if you didn’t like the pill”. It’s a huge part of why I fell for him in the first place actually. He would support me if I did choose it but he also is on the same wavelength as me… He knows I don’t like it and that is that. End of. Period (literally).
As much as I moan about my periods and how heavy, painful and tiring they are. I simply don’t like the idea of something else controlling them. To be interrupting my natural flow of things. I’m lucky to have periods for my periods to be regular and I’d like to keep it that way.
I want to preserve and look after my body and that involves not shoving something in my arm or remembering to take a pill that makes me depressed every day.
We all say this, and we should all know this but we can never say it enough… IT IS YOUR BODY AND IT IS YOUR CHOICE.
If contraception works well for you then that is FAB.
If it helps your skin or regulates your period or actually helps you in anyway then GREAT.
I just hate it when people are on it “for the sake of it” or cause their partner wants them on it. It aint right. They don’t have the right over your body. Don’t go or stay on it cause it saves an argument or them being angry or annoyed with you …. If you’re in that situation then I’d seriously speak to someone or assess your relationship. I know I sound blunt here but that’s just how I feel.
I’m not telling anyone they shouldn’t be on contraception and I’m certainly not hating on all men in the world. I just want people to feel in control of their bodies, safe in their relationships and to be comfortable with their decisions because it’s one that they’ve made themselves, for themselves.
thank you so much for reading & take good care of one another