The Guilt Of Putting Your Happiness First

I tweeted recently (shock) how there is so much that I want to write about but fear people reading into my writing and seeing things as cryptic when in fact I only ever mean well. Anyway, I don’t care and will write about what I want to. Which is a small example of me putting my happiness first….


Life makes it so easy for us to put the happiness of others’ before our own. The one thing stopping us from putting our happiness first is the guilt that comes with it. The guilt tricks us into believing we are selfish for putting our happiness ahead of others. That in turn can create a whole world of pain and anguish and confusion and misery… Why do we do it?!

People encourage us to put ourselves and happiness first. And when we do, we are called out on it. WHY?!. HERE’S AN IDEA: STOP THAT.

I have quite simply had enough of the guilt that comes with putting your happiness first.

I have also had enough of seeing people get involved in other people’s persuit of happiness when it has nothing to do with them. Cue Oli Sykes’ “UGH GIMME A BREAK”…


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Like with all emotions, happiness comes in waves…

And in life, sometimes you need to end something so that you can begin again.

That can be leaving a job, a friendship, a relationship…

People change. Circumstances change. Feelings change. Everything is constantly evolving and if you’re not putting your happiness first then you are not evolving. You’re being left behind. Don’t do that to yourself. It is okay to move forward and accept that things aren’t what they once were.


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I can not stress enough how important it is for you to consider your happiness as a top priotity when you’re feeling down or lost or unhappy. You’re hurting youself and it’s also not fair on those around you. You’ll thank yourself in the long run. I promise you.

The concept of being made to feel guilty for putting your happiness first is a mechanism to keep you in your place. Some people can’t hack change. Some people can’t hack seeing others thrive. Some people are like this because they don’t feel brave enough to do what you’re doing so they put you down.

That is FACTS my hun.


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We all need to be a little better at reminding ourselves that putting our happiness first doesn’t mean we are disregarding the needs of other people… There may be times where it feels like that but it really isn’t.

No one is going to do it for you. You are not resposible for anyone elses happines which means no one is responsible for yours. You are in charge. If you can easily put the work in for someone elses happiness then you can surely do it for yourself. After all, it’s what you deserve.

If you don’t, you’ll burn out. Eventually you’ll just sink so far down that you don’t know who you are anymore. You’ll lose yourself. It’ll affect all aspects of your life. It’ll bleed into your relationships and your work and it’ll take a lot of time, work and sacrifice to climb back up again. It’s possible, sure. I’ll be the first to say that but you needn’t sink so low. You don’t need to.

The more I learn to put my happiness first, the better I am at helping others do the same. Once my happiness is sorted out, I can be genuinely there and present for other people. To see others happy is so pure and beautiful. To see it in yourself is also so pure and beautiful. The world needs it.


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In any situation, if you don’t feel happy about it. Pause and ask yourself why that might be. And don’t use excuses to distract from what the harsh reality might be.

I recently read somewhere ‘Why set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm?’ and that is SO IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER.

I’m putting my happiness first and I feel like me again… It’s overwhelming but in the best way. I want nothing but happiness for you, the person reading this.


So that’s a brain dump of a post and if you got this far, I owe you a bev…

Look after yourself. Thanks so much for reading as everrrrr u sxc bishes<333


El xxx

 

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