(((((((((((Not to point out the obvious but I hope you’re all well and are being safe and clean ya detty pigs))))))))))
I’ve various drafts and half finished posts but it just doesn’t feel like the right time to post any of them…
Hell, I even had a plan to post a CUTE AF Spring post on Sunday when the clocks change but I honestly just wonder what the point is right now seeing as we’re on lockdown and can’t go see our family and friends and drink bevvys in a beer garden…
Do I want to write something topical? Not really, I wouldn’t know what to say….
One thing I don’t have trouble talking about is mental health. It’s one thing I always vow to be totally honest about because I know not everyone knows how to talk about how they feel or to convey their mental health through words at all…
I started back on anti-deppresants about six weeks ago due to s.a.d and something pretty fucking big happening in my personal life. My entire life changed in an instant towards the end of last year and I knew depression was creeping back up on me after being absent for years and I knew I didn’t need counselling or CBT because I was thinking so clearly, I just knew I needed a bit of help feeling myself again and anti-depressents work really well for me.
I missed a pill or two this week and that along with a seriously hormonal period has put me in such a low and unmotivated mood… I can’t be bothered to be productive, being creative feels like a chore, I feel like shit cause I don’t know when or if I’ll get paid from jobs I’ve done and while they’re hardly real issues with what is actually going on in the world and so many millions of others have so many bigger problems to deal with, these little things are mine and we don’t need to justify how we feel.
While we all need to practice gratitude and to put things into perspective, that doesn’t mean you should undermine your own troubles or feel guilty for feeling low. I know I say this ALLLLLTHETIMEEE but we all, me included, need to be reminded of it. Especially in times like this.
Anyway, this spell of feeling down is something I haven’t felt in over a month and just when I thought I was reaching my normal self, BAM it comes back like a boomerang and slaps me across the face. I went from not wanting to get out of bed to getting up at 6 and being super productive for 12 hours and now I’m back to “Ugh, what’s the point?” … I don’t doubt we’re all feeling a bit like this at the moment… Hang in there.
It’s alright, you know, if you’re taking this lock down time to just REST. Yeah, there’s loads we can be doing but just cause you’re seeing people post all the stuff they’re doing online to stay productive, it doesn’t mean you have to if you’re not feeling up to it yet. Please, plesase, please be gentle and kind to yourself.
Saying all that, here’s a quick list of things to do if you’re bored… Who knows how long we’re gonna be stuck for…
WASH YOUR MAKE UP BRUSHES YOU DETTY PIGS
REORGANISE YOUR WARDROBE
EXERCISE AND STRETCH
LEARN TO MEDITATE CAUSE IT IS ACTUALLY LEGIT
LEARN ABOUT THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
FINISH THAT BOOK AND START SOME MORE
FUCK IT LEARN FRENCH OR SOMETHING
REORGANISE YOUR WHOLE HOUSE, WHY NOT
MOISTORISE YOUR WHOLE BODY AND FEEL LIKE A NEW HUMAN
WRITE A DAILY TO DO LIST EVEN IF ‘GET DRESSED’ IS ON THERE CAUSE IT FEELS GOOD TO TICK STUFF OFF
LISTEN TO NU METAL
WATCH BLACK BOOKS AND JUST COMPLETELY RESONATE WITH BERNARD BLACK
SHAVE JUST ONE LEG AND LET SEE HOW LONG THE HAIR CAN GET ON THE OTHER LEG
LEARN TO BAKE OR MAKE SOMETHING EASY LIKE FLAPJACK OR BROWNIES
NOW IS THE TIME TO ABSOLUTELY PERFECT THAT WINGED LINER
TAKE SOME HOT AF NUDES OR SELFIES AND JUST ADMIRE YOURSELF
PAINT A NAKED SELF PORTRAIT
SELL THOSE CLOTHES ON DEPOP THAT YOU KEEP PUTTING OFF FFS
BUY A NEW VIBRATOR AND LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE
BE CRINGEY AND DO A TIK TOK IF YOU GET DESPERATE
GET A GROUP AND ONE PERSON AT A TIME USE THEIR 7 DAY FREE TRIAL OF DISNEY PLUS SO YOU DON’T GOTTA PAY LOLOLOLOLOL NAUGHTY EHEHEHH DJ BOONIE IN THE MIX 2K7 BRAP BRAP
WRITE A SONG
CREATE YOUR ULTIMATE PLAYLISTS ON SPOTIFY FOR VARIOUS MOODS LIKE ‘SUMMER’, ‘CRY’, ‘SEXY’ ETC ETC INNIT
SPEND A FEW YEARS ON PINTEREST CREATING YOUR ULTIMATE DREAM LIFE
CHECK IN ON ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND MAKE SURE THOSE IN YOUR LIFE THAT ARE VULNERABLE HAVE ENOUGH FOOD ETC
LEARN A NEW ACCENT
MAKE A MEME, WHY NOT
LEARN HOW TO MAKE THE PERFECT ICED COFFEE
WRITE A POEM
DRAW, PAINT, BE ARTY FARTY
KEEP STREAMING MUSIC AND SHARING SONGS ON YOUR INSTA STORY TO HELP THOSE IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY WHO HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY FUCKED OVER
IF YOU’RE AN ACTOR, THERE’S MILLIONS OF THINGS WE CAN DO LIKE READ PLAYS, MAKE SURE WE AINT LYING ON OUR SPOTLIGHT ABOUT ANY SKILLS, DO WARM UPS, EXERCISE, WRITE, LEARN A MONOLOGE ETC ETC ETC
HAVE A TOTAL PAMPER DAY WHERE YOU JUST LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE LIKE FACE MASK HAIR MASK BATH SHAVE WAX TAN PAINT NAILS BLEACH ETC ETC
WRITE DOWN SOME ACHIEVABLE GOALS
DO AN ONLINE COURSE
PLAN ALL THE SICK STUFF YOU’RE GONNA DO ONCE WE ARE FREEEE
WATCH SOME ONLINE THEATRE (RSC AND NOW THE NATIONAL ARE DOING BITS)
And as always, I’m not the quickest one to reply but my DMs are ALWAYS open.